Awkward Always : Dead crabs haunt me.

I just wrote a blog about my family visit to the island, but wanted to write about what else we've been up to on this rock for the last few months!

Piper and I couldn't be more alike at this point, I mean really, she's my protege. Sorry Cari & Casey. Not. More like you're welcome. If one more person messages me on Facebook to tell me that my daughter is adorable or looks like me I'm gonna die, it makes me laugh each time. I don't know why they'd think that...it's not like I'm constantly posting pictures of Piper or talking about her ;) but let's face it, I'm around her more than anyone else, like every waking hour I'm with her, and I feel like for the last two years I've been her other mom.

She used her first Q-Tip (supervised) and pulled it out and said, "I think there's poopy in there" due to the dark color of her earwax

When I hear her say things like, "Let's roll, troll." or "I got your back, homegirl." I just have to sit and stare at her with pride.

Fishies!

Passed out on the boat ride

Nose pickin' fun

Piper feeding the "Caribbean Pirhanas" during a boat trip we took with some friends

Piper loves boats now. Our first boat ride she was terrified, but now we go on as many boat trips as possible

Piper likes to flip her car over and fix it. She's quite handy.

Piper's favorite toy is the cash from my wallet, to her its funny, when I roll up to the gas station and have no cash in my purse it's not so funny. Notice how those are all single dollar bills, I'm broke. Send me money, people.

Piper and my boyfriend, Pierre, love each other. She gets really excited whenever he comes over or we go to his house or run errands. They will miss each other so much :(

Andi

I'm getting really sad about Andi going home in three weeks. She's come to be a little sister for me. She always makes the cutest little things she finds on pinterest (Angry Birds sandwiches) and she's always wanting to humor me and talk about hair for hours. She loves to do hair and learn how to do new things and deep condition her hair with me, even if we look ridiculous in the hair caps. She has such a fun personality and our estrogen tank will be so sad without her! But she's so excited to be back in St. Cloud, Minnesota in her own house with her dad and brother and all of her friends. She has made a paper chain for the last day of school and she's ecstatic to be done in 9 days. I totally remember counting down the days of school. Woot.

Andi also likes to tease me. Her latest favorite story involves the death of an innocent crab. I was driving the car one night with everyone in it and we were going through the golf course, a little history on the golf course...the golf course is like the equivalent of the mythical haunted forest in fairytale movies. Meaning, if you walk through by yourself at night, you'll never be seen again. It's very creepy and dark and people get mugged and kidnapped in there sometimes if they're walking. The roads in the golf course are a JOKE, they're so narrow and beat up. There's speed bumps every 20 feet and a pot hole every two feet. My friend Katie said when she got to the island she thought the golf course was some secret shortcut her cab driver knew about. But no, it's literally the only way you can get to Cupe Coy, which is where we live, without driving around the entire island and coming through the French side.

Here's a car that was seen in the golf course that overestimated the width of the road, or they were just completely drunk and ended up on a boulder

So like I said, the golf course is very narrow and crappy and dark...We were driving home from somewhere, I don't remember where, but probably somewhere awesome, because we're awesome. I see this huge land crab ( a land crab is a real thing, they're crabs that live...on land) they look mean and mad all the time and they're totally gross. Sometimes I see them by the elevator in our parking garage and I just stand there and scream until a security guard runs up to see whats wrong, after which I make them chase it away for me.

So I see this crab on the side of the road and it was an especially big so I wanted to show it to Cari, Andi and Piper. So I put the car in reverse and turn the car so I'm occupying most of both lanes and shine my headlights on the crab so they can admire it with me...from a distance. A moment later a car comes from the opposite direction and annoyed at how I'm taking up the whole road with my TINY Hyundai (seriously-such narrow roads) he drives up onto the shoulder of the road near the boulders and when he's driven away we realize he just ran the crab over. We literally just sat there and there was an audible gasp from all of us. It was dead, and I had killed it. This happened probably a month ago and every day since then Andi says, "Remember when you killed that crab?" I felt really bad about killing something so cool, which is uncharacteristic because I'm usually not an animal person. By "I'm usually not an animal person" I actually mean I super hate animals.

To make matters worse a couple of weeks later I was doing dishes and I saw a lizard in the kitchen behind me, for a minute I thought it was maybe one of Piper's toys because it was not moving, but as I walked towards it, it started to squirm around and I freaked out. Of course Cari wasn't home, which is probably good because last time we had a lizard in the house Cari did the ugliest and most hilarious screaming run I have ever seen. She was acting as if this pinky long lizard was a huge python coming towards her. I grabbed a cup to catch the lizard with and slowly started to lower closer to the ground to trap it without it moving. I have horrible aim. I placed the cup directly in the middle of its body and squished it to death without even intending to. God's poor creatures. I'M SO SORRY. The animal spirits haunt me to this day. Not actually. Gross.

Carina

Do you like these dramatic headings I'm using for their names? Carina is...stressed. She's morphed into a hideous impatient version of herself, she's a horrible monster, we're her slave prisoners.

JUST KIDDING.

Carina is on her last hoorah. HOORAH! Her fifth and final semester has proven to test her knowledge up to this point as she studies for the Composition-which is a test over everything she's learned the last two years, and also a mini version of the USMLE STEP 1 Exam. The STEP exam is what every med student needs to take in order to be a doctor. It's the "big one" of medical exams.

From the hours of 5am-11pm she has her face in a book, a laptop, or an iPad, taking an occasional minute to breathe or eat here and there.

Some days I feel like I'm the wife of a work obsessed husband...or sister...or I guess, the spouse of a med student ;) My social activities are not what they were two years ago. Ever since the night when I realized I was staying up later just so I could rotate the laundry so there wouldn't be any wet clothes in the machine overnight, I decided my life was over and I've become a loser. Hahaha.

But in all seriousness, we just try to do whatever we can to help her. But I am a 22 year old mother to a 14 and 3 year old for the time being, and I love it. Most of the time. Being a "mother" is grand. I entertain Pipey all day, set up play dates, wipe her bum, put on butt cream, it's wonderful.

We go pick up Andi, hear about her day, beat up any kids that were mean to her, go to the store, forget to buy half the things I needed, come home and pick up and make dinner, maybe do some laundry...

This week was Cari's block week, which means its the week leading up to a "Block Exam" there's a block exam every four weeks for her this semester. Its 40% of her grade in both classes, so they're important. During these weeks she's especially M.I.A. We see her when she comes to the table to eat and then upon taking her last bite she says, "Okay, I have to go study again." I look at the pile of dishes I have to do and start to sob, imagine how fun it would be to pour the soup over Cari's head and say, "NO, WOMAN, YOU CLEAN UP AND THEN GIVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE AND A BACK SCRATCH." But instead I smile and nod and think of how wonderful it will be when Cari's making doctor money and she buys me a yacht, and I shall name the yacht, "World's most superior nanny" This is a dramatization. We're all doing wonderfully, and Cari handles stress better than most people I know, she's still cheerful all the time and we talk a lot more than I lead on. We're so proud of her being almost done, and she's excited to get in a hospital and do rotations and cement in why it was she wanted to be a doctor in the first place, which was to help people, not rot in her room behind her computer.

ME!

I'm doing very well. I'm having so much fun living here with these three girls and I'm so sad about the short fifty days we have left before I must bid adieu to this phenomenal chapter in my life. I have grown up a lot these last two years! This was something I realized last Wednesday.

I picked Andi up from school, she called my cell phone while I was with a hair client and told me she wasn't feeling well and asked if she could be picked up early, I told her I was about done with the girls hair and would be on my way. We picked Andi up and she looked paler than Casper and was super weak. The minute we got home she kicked off her shoes and collapsed in her bed. I heard her ask for a bowl because she thought she might be sick. I always grew up seeing my siblings sick and they would carry a puke bowl around for what seemed like YEARS. For days, they'd tote this bowl around with them, but never puke in it, it seemed like such a waste. Like, man up and be sick already. With these memories in my head I didn't think much of her bowl request. I loaded some dishes into the dishwasher, found a bowl for Andi and asked Piper to bring it to her, which is like asking a snail to bring you something. Piper's easily distracted. On the way to a destination she will peer into every room on her way and maybe reassemble some toys, look at herself in the mirror, visit the bathroom, eat some crackers, put on her tennis shoes, and THEN she'll bring you what you needed.

By the time Andi received the bowl it was too late, she had thrown up. Piper came back and I just wanted to grab Piper and the car keys and drive away. I. HATE. PUKE. Not like anyone likes puke, obviously, but I can't do it. I would rather play fear factor for ten years as a career than see someone puke or deal with their puke, and that's not just because I think Joe Rogan is a babe. But you guys, I reacted so well. Andi was emotional I think because she felt bad because she knows how much I hate puke but I calmed her down, told her it was fine, and she should shower because no offense but your stomach acid doesn't smell any better than the rest of ours...I snapped on some rubber gloves, put a clothes pin on my nose to pinch my nostrils shut so I couldn't smell anything and went to work, and I did it! I was so proud of myself! Carina walked in while I was just finished and I was like a proud kid with its art project after school, like, "Carina! Look at all this cool vomit I just cleaned up! By myself! Notice how I didn't throw up in the process?! High five me!"

It was then I learned a tiny bit how much moms must love their kids, because I super love Andi and I knew it based on what I did for her. It was probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for anyone else. I couldn't find a single Hallmark card better depicting that better.

Having Andi sick was kind of fun for me, she played hooky from school the rest of the week and we watched tv and ate saltines together. It was actually really fun. Piper got a head cold and was up until 3 or 4 am every night because she can't breathe through her nose and was whining and crying a lot. My favorite part of when Piper has a cold is how she uses tissues. She takes one and dabs a corner of it on her nose so that 98.7% of the tissue is still clean, then throws it and gets a new one...

I usually sleep with her every night of block week so Cari can sleep well. I was a zombie this week, but its all good, ya know why? My future yacht.

So I had sick Andi and Piper this week, on Saturday Cari started to feel sick and I said you get away from me you germ freaks. I had a voice recital I had to sing in that afternoon and I couldn't lose my voice or puke all over people watching me. That wouldn't be very nice. Here's a pic of the performers from Saturday. It went a lot better than the first recital. Singing in front of people is one of my biggest fears, but its getting easier and I'm so glad. Conquering fears feels good. I sang "La Vie en Rose" and "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.