Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I hate toilets

On Monday of this week, Casey, Andi and Tanner left to go back to Minnesota. I was originally supposed to be leaving on Monday as well, but Casey and I thought it best if someone were to stay with Cari for a few more weeks so she didn't shrivel up and die in the apartment by herself for a month. Thus, Piper, Cari and I will be a tripod for the next few weeks.

This week has been psycho busy...my sisters family is trying to move into a new apartment which means we've been trying to find new renters for their current apartment...almost two months went by without a nibble on the place, and then two days ago Cari got a message from someone interested in seeing the apartment the next day. Cari and I looked around our apartment at the mayhem that was left from three people packing up their stuff to go, leaving messes here, suitcases there, piles here, blah blah blah...She and I stayed up last night cleaning most of it, but this morning after she went to class I finished up, and THAT was an experience.

So let me preface this by saying that Cari has made a few "homey" touches to the apartment in an attempt to take it from being a "timeshare" feel to a "home." Okay, by "homey" I mean she took down ugly paintings only to be replaced by our literal screen door with construction paper letters spelling "St. Martin" Have I already ranted about this in a previous entry? Probably. Because every time I look at it I have to just laugh and envision myself on the "Jerry Springer Show" because I feel THAT white trash.

We've also accumulated so many things in the short eight months we've been here, and there are toys exploding from the tub in the family room under our "homey" fold up table with a Hawaiian tablecloth over it which is basically covering an ugly table with, well, more ugly.

Anyways, first things first this morning I skyped our neighbor, and seriously one of the funniest people ever, Kristin. I basically said, "Hey, we have a ton of heinous looking crap in the apartment, can I store it at your place while people come over to check out the unit?" Of course she said yes, 'cause she's awesome, and she's paying me to write these nice things about her in my blog. Just kidding, she's not...

After I had cleared all the ugly over to her apartment, I realized the showing was in an hour and a half and started to panic that I had maybe more to do than I thought and should probably start hustlin', by hustlin' I simply mean, moving really quickly, not literally hustlin' people or anything crazy like that.

I felt like a tornado of cleanliness through the apartment, Piper was trying to follow me around to help, because whenever she sees me cleaning she says, "its time to clean up!" and begins throwing her toys where they go, putting her shoes away, but this morning she had no idea what was happening. The only time I stopped cleaning was to change the song on YouTube for her so she could continue her one woman dance party out in the family room.

I gathered up all the trash bags and threw them outside in the bigger dumpster that gets taken out from the maintenance staff here. When I was done with everything except cleaning the toilets (which I purposely put off to very last because-ew) and I couldn't find the stinkin' toilet brush anywhere! So I had to quick message Cari in class and ask her where it was, she says its in her bathroom garbage because Piper put it in there and she forgot to take it out...Okay, no problem. AH CRAP. I emptied out all the garbages, guess I'll have to go out to the dumpster and grab it back out again? Nope. The maintenance crew here is apparently incredibly on top of their game because they had already taken the garbage away...

"Cari, I threw away the toilet brush, how the heck am I supposed to clean the toilets? Scrub it with my hand?" I say to my sister as a JOKE. "Yeah, Michelle, good idea! Just throw a plastic bag over your hand and you're good to go!"

I won't release the details of what took place next, but I assure you it involved much dry heaving, and much hand washing. I literally came out to the kitchen to wash my hands while singing "Happy Birthday" like you're supposed to, Piper heard my singing and yelled, "OH YAY! MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!" She turned a bad experience into a funny one in .000001 seconds. I LOVE that little girl.

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