I'm on a boat

Every single time I attempt to go to bed early I end up laying there for at least three hours with my eyes wide open, by the time I'm tired enough to actually fall asleep its no longer "early" and I feel like I just wasted my entire evening laying in bed when I could have been awake sending people snapchat pics on my phone. DANGET.

Its been another crazy few weeks on the island. Casey and Tanner are here for a couple weeks to spend Thanksgiving and escape the cold Minnesota winter for a little while. 

Welcome Home sign Andi made for her dad. We sure get our moneys worth out of that white board.

I made the "Casey Crookston" sign for Cari to hold up at the airport to be funny, but then an airport attendant notified us that you have to pay the airport fine in order to hold up a name sign. HUH?

Awwww. Casey reunited with all his girls.

Piper's happy to be back in Dad's arms

:)

Making our way to the car. Poor Casey was sweating bullets in his long sleeve turtleneck. What the heck do you wear when traveling from MN to the Caribbean in the winter? 

Tanner came a few days after Casey did. His embrace with mom and Piper.

Andi and Tanner.

Upon returning to the island Tanner and Casey were quickly reminded of the humidity and the slow internet. Its pretty amusing to see someone reacquaint themselves with the island life. The estrogen tank is happy to have some testosterone around...after all, we do have some burned out lightbulbs that need replacing and things around the apartment that need fixing. Surely us girls can't do that. 

Piper and I took another trip to Kid's World last week. This time I dressed much more appropriately for the hot hot indoor play area, I learned from last time and remembered their lack of A/C. Piper and I played up in the jungle gyms and went down this giant long slide half a dozen times. The other disadvantage of a humid play area is that your butt sticks to the slide like crazy. At the end of the slide Piper was screaming, "SHELL! I HAVE A BAD BAD WEDGIE!" We ended up just starting to run down the slide on our feet, it seemed less painful. Piper LOVES trampolines and they have a big trampoline outside which is brand new and bounicer than Grandma's trampoline in Minnesota. Piper and her friends Yevva and Adi were loving it. 

Andi had school off last Monday for St. Maarten Day so Piper, Andi, Pierre, and Britney (Pierre's niece) decided to go check out the zoo on the island. Of course the second I turned on my camera it flashed the notice "change batteries now" so I didn't get any pics. The zoo was really small but super interactive and fun. They offer you a bag of animal crackers when you get in and tell you to feed the animals along the way. We saw a lot of birds, including a peacock that followed us around the entire zoo because it was so pretty and I kept feeding it. Andi singlehanedly hand fed every single cotton headed Tamarin monkey that the zoo had. Their tiny tiny hands and faces were so pitiful and sad looking that she wanted to give them each a cracker. They were so cute. My favorite animal were the "Love Birds" I had no idea that there were literal Love Birds. They were so cute. I could put a google image of the bird up here, but I'm feeling lazy. Andi sought much entertainment from taking advantage of Pierre's jumpiness around animals. I had no idea he was so squirmy around animals, but she took a leaf and brushed it against his neck from behind him to make him think it was some animal and he jumped so high, she and I were laughing for a good five minutes. Take Pierre to the zoo if you're having a bad day and need a good laugh.

That night Piper was still pretty interested in animals and was asking me to look up videos of animals on youtube for her to watch. She ended up finding videos of a chick hatching out of an egg, which led to a link for a live birth of a giraffe, and a kangaroo...it was getting pretty disturbing so I took the iPad away. She freaked out so I tried to find a less appalling animal video and we stumbled upon a video about orphan orangutans (orangutans are my favorite animal ever) and it showed them being bottle fed and bathed and even having their diapers changed. Piper was so in shock that these babies were so much like her. She watched that video SEVEN times in a row and kept asking me to get her a monkey baby. I WISH!

This weekend Cari, Piper and I got a 48 hour cold virus which just basically involved headaches and body aches and a total energy zap. I really really wanted to go to a karaoke bar. I do not sing karaoke, BUT I think almost nothing is funnier than watching drunk people sing horribly in front of a large crowd. I almost get annoyed when someone is actually really good at karaoke. Its like, go to American Idol, and let some drunk hot mess sing instead. So before we head out to Karaoke I decided to take some Nyquil (there was no Dayquil) to help soothe my symptoms and make for a more fun night. Okay, so earlier this summer when I had to fly home with Piper by myself I was nervous about how she'd do with such a long traveling day, and had considered the option of giving her some cold medicine to help her sleep (don't judge me) I wanted to test the medicine and make sure it actually did make her sleepy and that she wasn't one of those kids who take nyquil and experience "extreme excitability" Sure enough, she was excited. She was so hyper she couldn't even be contained in this apartment so I took her outside. She was running up and down the parking lot, asking EVERY SINGLE PERSON that walked by us on the way to the elevator if they "wanted to race her" two people took her up on this and stood next to her as she said "Ready, Set..." and then she'd jet off and run down the parking garage screaming and laughing hysterically the entire time. This proceeded for another 45 minutes.

When I took nyquil I was the exact same way. If you know me you already know i'm a hyper person, so if you can even imagine. I've never been drunk, but I can only think this experience was similar to how I'd be if I was drunk, which just reaffirms its a good thing I don't drink.

Pierre and I went down to the boardwalk and I could not stop laughing for the life of me, I had no control over myself. We passed a guy going pee on the side of a building and I yelled "COPS ARE COMING" and the guy got super freaked out and I started laughing because they totally weren't coming, he was super mad and told me he pee'd all over his hand, which made me laugh even harder.

Then after we were finished listening to some music we cut through an alley way to get from the boardwalk to back street where our car was parked. These two guys were yelling at each other and within a few seconds ended up getting physical, which, once again, I thought was hilarious. I just stood there and laughed. Pierre grabbed my hand and asked me if I was trying to get beat up. So long story short, cold medicine makes me laugh at inappropriate times. I felt bad for my boyfriend. I should have slipped him a 20 dollar bill when he dropped me off and thanked him for babysitting me. He didn't totally hate drunk Michelle, I caught him laughing a few times. Busted.  

Probably one of the fifty times that Pierre leaned over to tell me to stop acting like a psycho person

The next morning was our Random Winds boat trip. My friend Matt set it all up for 15 of our friends to go a few months ago and I'd been anxiously awaiting the day to come. This was my first time being on a boat, excluding a canoe and a paddleboat so I woke up with butterflies and was pretty nervous! My friend Ashley gave me a motion sickness pill to take so I didn't get sea sick. 

We left around 9:45am and drove to Simpson Bay where we got on the scuttle boat which took us to the sailboat. We sailed to the Baie Long (There's no way I spelled that French title correctly) and anchored and looked down to see a bunch of Jacks fish and a Barracuda. They had snorkeling gear we all put on and then we jumped in and checked out the fish. They swarmed us completely, it was crazy. Their fins had spikes on them and some of us got a few scratches. Ashley was absolutely hysterical about the fish being close to her and kept trying to swim on top of us. Tanner and Andi kept throwing food for the fish right towards Ashley so they'd encircle her, but when she got to the point of tears they decided they should stop ;) 

I saw a sea turtle! It was so cool and so big! I immediately thought of Crush from Finding Nemo. The ocean is SO fun. After we snorkeled for an hour or so they fed us lunch and we sailed to Mullet beach which is where they pulled out their Tarzan swing. After that it was almost 4 and time to head back home. The six hours on the boat went by SO fast, and I didn't even get sunburned. I think that day was like one of the handful of times I actually used sunscreen, I normally hate sunscreen but there's no way I was going to make it six hours in the Caribbean sun without frying crispy. The boat was big and beautiful, the captain and first mate were so insanely nice, the view of the island from on the boat was really cool to see and I would totally go again. Thanks, Random Wind! Here's a bunch of pics from the boating day (most of them taken by Casey)...

Baby boat!

Piper mesmerized by all the fish

Gary's facial expression while he applies sunscreen kills me

Hahahaha Piper pretty much nailed Gary's facial expression

Matt and Cecily

Matt's modeling the back side for us

Hahahaha

Me & Ceciky

SO SERIOUS

Tanner on the Tarzan Swing

Andi and I just pondering the meaning of life


So I have a theory. I'm pretty sure I have the worst luck in the world? More like I think I'm God's very entertainment sometimes. I'm pretty sure that daily he calls over Chris Farley and Heath Ledger (those are two dead people I really really loved, so I can only pretend they love me too) and they sit down to watch TV and the show is called "Mess with Michelle" and they're basically watching my life. I say this because the past week seemed more unlucky than most.

For starters, last week I got pulled over. I've been pulled over many many times, I'm a speeder...and sometimes oblivious to the world around me. But this time being pulled over was ten times more scary because it was a French Gendarme. A Gendarme is a French policeman and they're huge and hot and buff and strict and intimidating. So he pulls me over and I'm FREAKING OUT. First of all, I'm not even sure my MN license is valid on this island, and I know our car is insured but the insurance papers were not in the car at the time so I'm just envisioning myself being hauled away to some Caribbean jail, which remains to this day one of my biggest fears.

He pulls me over and this is our conversation:
Gendarme: I see you drive this way every single day at this time, where are you always going?
Me: I pick up my niece from school
Gendarme: But all the French schools are released at 1pm (this is around 3pm)
Me: Well she goes to school on the Dutch side but the traffic on that side is awful, so I come around the island
Gendarme: Is that your baby? (motioning to Piper in the back seat)
Me: No...she's my niece, too
Gendarme: Oh, okay. Well I was just curious where you're always going. Have a nice day.
Me: Do you need my license or anything?
Gendarme: No, you're good.

What the deuce? Thanks for the minor heart attack...and for nothing. Pretty sure that was maybe the biggest waste of our time ever.

So then today I run downstairs to lend a DVD to my friend who's waiting by our outside gate and while I'm coming back upstairs in the elevator the power goes out and the elevator stops and I start bawling hysterically. This is another huge fear. Not only do I have major claustrophobia, but I'm really scared of elevators. I don't like riding them by myself. If the building/elevator seems the smallest bit sketchy, I will take the stairs. Just ask my best friend, whom I made walk up 16 flights of stairs with me last winter after a parade so we could get to our car in the parking garage since their elevator was way too shady looking. The power was out for maybe ten seconds before the generator kicked on. To be honest I'm just impressed that I could generate such hysteria in such a short amount of time.

Then today at the grocery store, I go to open the dairy case to grab out some frozen juice and out of NOWHERE this six foot long metal pole comes crashing down and smacks me on the forehead. HUH? Then as I'm loading my groceries into the trunk I smack my head into the trunk and the top of my head starts bleeding. We get home to unload groceries and I drop a frozen turkey on my foot...I wanted to just lay on the ground and surrender to this day.

I'm laying in bed and I hear a loud knocking on the front door from Casey and Tanner who are returning home from the movies without a house key, so I get up to unlock the door and stub my bruised frozen turkey toe on Pipers stroller, while I'm walking back to my bed after opening the door I stub my toe again. I'm pretty sure I broke her stroller when I picked it up to gently throw to the other side of the room.

Weird weird Monday. Not sure what's with the clumsiness/bad luck...but it can at least provide entertainment for others.

Considering its ninety degrees without a single trace of snow it absolutely does not feel like mid November. I can't believe Thanksgiving is in three days and that I go home for Christmas in exactly one month. I'm so excited to see all 10 of my siblings in one place for the first time in a DECADE.

Until next blog... love and miss you, my friends. Xoxo!